Long Way from Chocolates,Mushy Cards and Teddy Bears - Vday my way

Who said on every Valentine day you have to do what the whole world ,( ok most of the world) does. Who decided that love can be expressed by chocolates, roses and a cosy candle light dinner at a fancy restaurant only. And more importantly who ever thought of the idea of burning a deep hole in to your pockets / purses every V day. Just forget about that person now and let's think about some other ways to show your love.


When this wonderful and unusual prompt was suggested by Blog Adda, I decided to don my thinking cap and came up with these :




PS: I am married and hence one might find my ideas are mostly for a married couple.




1. Get up early and go for a morning walk together. Yes even if you do that everyday, do that today too. If you spend 30 minutes walking at the garden, make that to 45 minutes. That extra 15 minutes, just sit together after the walk and hold hands. So what if today is Sunday and it's chutti day from morning walk. Make an exception.




2. Make breakfast together. My man cooks really well. So I can confidently say if I chose to make only tea and he takes it upon himself to "make breakfast" it will be awesome. The role can be reversed if that suits you. Come on, make green tea with a tea bag if you find that easier. Man! BTW I made breakfast and P made masala tea just the way he likes it.




3. Why not let the Bai also enjoy the day of love with her special someone. Go ahead, give her a chutti. Do the house hold chores together for today. See how it feels.




4. For today, whosoever usually dominates the TV on a Sunday, please make some adjustments. I guess with the cricket matches on air, the man will be pining for the remote anyway. Mine did; for the Under 20 finals and India lost!




5. How about a home beauty treatment session for a couple. Here's a quick home remedy to clean up your face and rejuvenate the tired eyes. Get few table spoons of besan and add 2 table spoon of curd. Make a smooth paste and apply that on face avoiding eyes and till your neck. Cut 2 slices of a cucumber and cover your eyes. Lie down for 15-20 minutes and wash with cold water. Voila. You just saved Rs.1500/-




6. Go out and do some grocery shopping together. When you are at this, you can always get a rose or a bunch of his/her favorite flower from the neighbourhood flower guy. Make his day too. Yeah, before you ask us, we did.

7. Now decide; if that's his favorite for lunch and her favorite for dinner or vice versa. What we did, we skipped a heavy lunch as we planned to have a special dinner of both our favoruite dish Pasta with mushroom.




8. That afternoon siesta which working people like us long for. After lunch weight gain if you sleep and blah blah. Forget for today please. If not siesta, just get together and plan for the next holiday. Almost all airlines in India, has special offers for V day. Browse through them and plan your next trip together.

9. Now this completely what happened at my home. Slowly as the V day heading towards end, P sat in front of the TV watching cricket match while I sat to finish my pending works. I had to write this too! But yeah, P is taking charge of the kitchen and making pasta. The wine is already in the freeze, I have done my bit of cleaning the mushrooms and peeling the garlic. Rest over to P.

One additional as a gift to everyone on the day of love




10. Head out to defend all the poor couples who get harassed by the moral police and self appointed conscience keepers of our nation.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.






14th Feb '16

Thank you My Better Half

Dear Better Half,

You must be wondering why am I writing a letter! I mean we are no longer in a long distance relationship. We Are Married. We don't have to wait till you read my mail and reply and vice versa. We don't have to plan the timings of "getting online" to talk; rather chat. Ahh those were the days. I sure miss them at times. It is also not that we don't talk at all now. We do; we talk about everything under the sky. I still tell you whatever stupid things I want to tell you and you still listen. I continue being the talkative one and you the listener. 

But now that you are away for few days on work, I have realised that even though I talk and talk, I have never said so many things. And that's why this letter. I thought I will tell whatever I missed telling you; to the whole world. I mean why hide, there is nothing secret about them. 

I realised I have never thanked you. Ok don't get ideas; I am not thanking you for making me a part of your life or blah blah. Please. I want to thank you for what you are; for being the man and always ready to #Sharetheload  . 

It so happens that otherwise vocal me goes into the silent mode if the topic of maids and their tantrums crop up between friends or colleagues. I don't have anything to say. For past 3 years our household is without a maid. Now that's something in our so hectic lives in the city that never sleeps. Do we miss that..nah no. I thank you for always there to #Sharetheload . 

Our friends love our house parties. For this I have to thank you again. You being the better cook, always take lead in the kitchen and cook up a storm while I manage only simple stuffs. But yeah I don't mind cleaning after happy guests leave. You don't mind that I don't get the time to dust and sweep everyday but only on weekends or holidays. A little dust over the furniture or a little dirt on the floor is ok as long as the minds of the people inside the house remain clean. Thank you for making me realise that. 

I have heard stories of women washing piles of dirty clothes every day. I don't relate to those stories either ; because you never let me wash your heavy jeans or jackets. You wash them yourself and at times if you find anything of mine lying to be washed; you wash that too! Yeah but I have to tell you; I don't like the way you put the clothes to dry. You put one over the other on the clothes wire. That's why I always insist on putting the wet clothes on the clothes wire myself and even after you do that; I go and check. I know you know that I do that. 

I don't know what others may think of you about helping me in all the household chores; but I know and you also firmly believe that this never make a man any lesser. Gone are the days when it was believed that kitchen is only a woman's domain or cleaning dusting sweeping washing are only a woman's duty. I strongly believe that a real man is the one who does not hesitate to show the world that he cares and shares too. Thank you for being that man for me.

Much Love,

Moi.

“I am writing for the #ShareTheLoad activity at BlogAdda.com in association with Ariel.”

A promise - To Bring Back the Touch

" Oh God, getting late. P will you please make me some breakfast." I shouted as I finished ironing my dress and rushed to the bathroom. P folded the newspaper he was reading and went to the kitchen without a word. 15 minutes later when I was dressed and ready, I had 4 slices with an omelette and hot coffee in front of me. I hogged in a hurry again. The phone rang. Somebody was getting late for a flight and he requested to get his boarding pass ready. Come on; did not you know you were booked on this flight and keeping in mind the Mumbai rush hour traffic, you should have started accordingly..I muttered under my breath as I dialed the airport manager's number. I just hogged the omlette and 2 slices, took few sips of the coffee and rushed out. I barely uttered "Bye Love" and ran. By the time I was down the stairs my phone rang again. I was speaking on the phone when I hailed an auto and left to the station. It was only when I was about to reach the station I realized I didn't look up as we always do, towards our balcony. I mean, it was an unspoken understanding between us. Whenever either of us goes out he / I would look up to the balcony and wave. Shit..How did I forget that. I so wanted to return but my professional commitments did not allow me to.


That evening when I reached home, I saw P sitting and watching TV. Being a free lancer; P's work hours are not regular. Whole day I couldn't forget I what I didn't do that morning. I was determined to say sorry and make it up by cooking his favourite dish for dinner. When I went to the kitchen I could see the chicken marinated. P said that he would make my favourite chicken that night. Wasnot he upset..I asked. I felt all the more guilty. Why did he have to do that. I almost forgot that that's why I had fallen in love with him. For his patience, his big heart and his forgiving nature. The love of my life, my man. I hugged him tight and said sorry. He held me gently and make me sit at the sofa. We talked and that was after so long that we actually talked. We both realized we needed to slow down. We both needed to find the person in each other that we had fallen in love with. We needed to touch each other. We needed to bring back the warmth to our relationship And most important of all we both needed to support each other in this. We promised each other that we will and we must #BringBackTheTouch that seem to have lost somewhere along the way.




 

My Diwali this year

 

 

 
 Amidst the glittering and shimmering lights, I too light a small "Maati Saaki" ( Earthen lamp /diya) and I pray as this small diya lighten up the darkness near the windowsill; this festival of lights to chases away the darkness from my mind, my home and from my loved ones.

 

 

 

 

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I am not bursting any crackers this year. Not even a simple "phool jhari". I wish to keep this Diwali simple only with lights.

The smell of mustard oil burning  in an earthen light is so soothing. It is the smell of those many diwalis of my childhood. I have written about that here

Yesterday while coming from work I found a stray dog sitting ; rather hiding from all the noise; in the stairs of our building. This has never happened. Even though there are many stray dogs in the neighbourhood , I have not found one coming inside the building in my last 2 diwalis spent here. It looked so scared as it looked up to me as if to plead not to chase him away. I felt guilty! Many are bursting crackers everywhere. I cant stop them. But there is something I can definitely do; I myself am not bursting any crackers.
 

 

 
I look out of my window and see those flickers of lights everywhere.  I revel in this festival of lights.

May this light spreads to all the corners of the world.

Diwali of Love, Light and Life

Have you seen the wonderful film made by Pepsi ?

#GharWaliDiwali ..Yeah Ghar Wali, the one spent at home, with family.

I came across this last night. The daughter who is now a wife and a mother, her parents who are now left with the memories of many diwalis of her growing up years; who now see , "touch and feel" their daughter's presence through video calls! This lovely film brought back so many memories. Memories of a childhood spent in a quiet sleepy little town tucked in the North Eastern part of the country, Dibrugarh. Of course Dibrugarh is no longer the little town it used to be; but my and my siblings childhood were spent here. Dibrugarh plays an important part in our lives and will always remain.

Our dad was not good at showing or expressing his emotions. Busy with his work, he would often forget our birthdays and at times which standard we were in! We ; I and my younger sister and brother. Ma would make it up. Being the wonderful cook she is, she would cook up a storm in all festivals, birthdays or just impromptu girls gang get-togethers in our teen years. In an Assamese family Diwali was not celebrated like the way it was celebrated in Northern or North Western part of India. No special sweets or laddoos were made. We did that during Bihu, the mail festival of Assam. In fact in Eastern India, during Diwali Goddess Kali is worshipped; not Goddess Lakshmi ! For us Diwali was more of a festival of lights and crackers and having fun with neighbours.

In Dibrugarh, we had a big house with a big kitchen garden. During Diwali dad would ask Madhu, our house help those days, to get a Banana tree ( which is actually a stem) cleaned and decorate it with bamboo hollows cut into 2. That decorated Banana tree/stem would be placed near our gate. In the evening Ma would get the diyas ready on the dining table. We used to light small earthen diyas ;  maati saaki as they are called in Assamese. I and my siblings would get busy in rolling cotton and then filling up the diyas with mustard oil. In big plates we would get the diyas and place them one by one on those bamboo hollows which were embedded into the banana tree. And then as darkness would fall, we would start lighting the diyas one by one. Madhu would help in lighting the diyas placed on top. The gate would be thrown open. Every house in the neighbourhood would light the same earthen diyas.  All our friends would go from one house to another to see the lights.Our small neighbourhood would lit up like a star.

Then came the fun part. Bursting crackers. Dad always maintained that too much of noise and air pollution must be avoided. He would get us very basic stuffs like phool jharis , flower pots , chakras, twinkling wires etc. He would get us those small red phataka which in Assamese we referred to as "Jolokia bomb". Jolokia meaning chilli as they resembled long thin red chillis! No big sky rockets or those fancy sparklers which burst into a big bouquet in the air; as he would say that those sky sparkles might fall on  someone's thatched roof and it might lead to disaster. Not that it never happened. There was a colony of people near our area, who mostly had thatched roofs. In one such case, a family had lost all their belongings. And guess what; almost every neighbor uncle would say the same thing to his children and we all would end up with similar crackers. Talk of being dad!

I and my sister were scared of bursting those jolokia bomb or red chilli phatakas. Our brother was even smaller. Again Dad to rescue; he asked Madhu to cut a bamboo piece into 4 sticks. Then there would be a small cut in one end of the stick. You were supposed to hold the stick from one end and fix a Red Chilli Bomb in between the small cut in the other end and then light it. Simple. Its safe ,far from you and you also had the fun of bursting a bomb! Much like the way these days people carry those fancy sticks ( sorry but I don't know what they are called) to place their mobile phones or small cameras to click selfies.

Spread the Light...!

Our family albums are full of Diwali photographs. Over the years, we moved to a bigger city; eventually sold off that place and settled in Guwahati. Then slowly we; I, my sister and my brother, all started moving out. First for higher studies, then job and then finally marriage. As dad would say " leaving the nest to fly into the horizon". The cities got bigger; but the houses got smaller. While studying in Gwalior, I celebrated hostel Diwali. While working in Delhi,I celebrated Diwali with room mates and friends. Now in Mumbai its with husband. In Diwali, we try to be at home together. I still light up few maati saaki / earthen diyas. I try to make sure they do not get lost in the glittering, shimmering lights pouring in from all over. And then of course the Kandil. Every year for last 3 years, we both would go and get a Kandil for our home. That's now a part of my #GharWaliDiwali.

Dad left us 9 years ago. Thank you PepsiCo for this wonderful little film for taking me back to those many diwalis from my childhood.

May this festival of light spread love and togetherness everywhere.

https://www.gharwalidiwali.com/